Saturday, September 25, 2010

Footy Grand Final - IT'S A DRAW

We've got the TV on, and the national anthem is being sung: "Advance Australia fair".  The M.C.G. is packed – fully 100,000 there to see the match.  In a minute, the Grand Final will begin: Collingwood versus St Kilda.  Carn the Saints!


They've bounced the ball.

The Pies have their first goal almost immediately!


End of the first quarter: Magpies 26 to Saints 20.


A pet peeve: footballers – indeed anyone – with tattoos.  It should be banned.  Such atavism!  The same goes for weird piercings hither and thither.  Are we to regress to the state of cavemen and primitives, painted blue with bones through our noses?


Half time: Collingwood 50 to St Kilda 26.

The half-time break: time to eat the obligatory meat pie.


Third quarter: Collingwood still in front, 55 to 47.


Less than ten minutes to go and St Kilda has caught up: Collingwood is only one point ahead, 61 to 60 - the game has warmed up!

Seven minutes left, and the scores are tied!

St Kilda's ahead by a goal!

No, Collingwood's back in the lead by one point!  Three minutes to go...

The scores are level again at 68 all, with only a minute left...

24 seconds left...

7 seconds...



Just as with the General Election, the result is – no result.

Everyone is absolutely stunned and amazed.

Next week, they will have to play again: a second Grand Final!

(Both back in 1948, and in 1977, a draw occurred, and so the game was replayed, as will happen now in 2010.)

As a final indignity, for reasons as yet unknown the teams' changing rooms have been flooded out, and as everyone reels in shock, the players have had to retire to the other set of changing rooms...


Prime Minister Gillard turns out to be a Cassandra: as she said at the Grand Final Breakfast this morning, as I heard it on the radio:
"Please, please, we cannot have a draw."
"A week without a premiership football team - I'm not sure our nation's strong enough to take it."
Oh Julia, what have you done?

No comments: