Glum

Having gone to bed very late last night, I slept in past the time for the early Mass at Carmel, or the Mass at St Francis... I ended up having to go fulfil my duty down at Apostles'.  Something about Mass there always makes me feel alienated.  It's just a straightforward Novus Ordo, but it depresses me.  I had to drag myself down there out of obedience, so I brought along my Dominican Breviary – it was all I could do to take the back pew right in the corner, and use the quiet bits to say Matins (which I haven't read for a long time), then Vespers, and Compline (after Communion).  Nunc dimittis, servum tuum, Domine...

I wonder how many of the faithful, each in their own way, find the liturgy hard to bear?  (I mean in general throughout the world.)  As a wise Dominican once told me, if you lose your faith, the last thing you should do is stop saying your prayers and going to Mass – that's when you need to!  And I suppose it is more meritorious bleakly to endure rather than joyously to celebrate.